The Beje

Destructive Relationships

2006-07-02T17:57:00.000-05:00

I just had a realization this morning. Have you ever been in a destructive relationship? Have you ever been around someone who plays the I-know-you-think-this-way-about-me game? Someone may say to you, "I know you think I'm sinful, and you don't like me." Then they sit back, watching you. After all, if you don't say something, then you must obviously agree, right? So, you feel forced to give an account and a defense, and prove your love to the person. "No," you say, "I don't think that way, and I do love you." Then they make the you-don't-sound-sincere face, and so you feel compelled to nearly crawl on your knees to prove your agreement and love to this person. At the same time you feel angry and violated, but you're not sure why. And it was all for thoughts and words you NEVER even said.

Another variation of the game goes something like, "so you don't agree, huh?" You wake up out of your daydream, and the person repeats the question louder, and you feel compelled to voice your agreement, and you'd better say it in a believable manner. Otherwise, there'll be Hell to pay.

Well, I see this game now. I suppose that such people are highly insecure, and play this manipulative game to feel assured of your love, your approval, or even your allegence. By God's grace I will no longer participate in a destructive relationship. I'll be silent as Jesus did when he was accused, or I'll talk about something entirely different. They may twist off at me, or spiral into a deep depression in front of me. Listen! I don't owe someone an account, defense or explanation for words THEY put into my mouth. If they are paranoid, that's their problem.

How to Believe

2006-04-13T15:35:00.000-05:00

From Charles Capps:

When it comes to receiving from God, the will of God must be known before faith can be released. Everything hinges on knowing what we believe and believing what we know is the will of God. In Matthew 21, Jesus gave us valuable information about receiving through faith.

Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this [which is done] to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. (Matthew 21:21-22)

When it comes to the prayer of petition, if a person doesn’t know the will of God concerning their request, they can’t possibly pray the prayer of faith concerning that matter. Faith comes from hearing and knowing the will of God. If there is a question concerning God’s will, your faith will always stop at the question mark. There are several instances in Jesus’ ministry where everyone in the multitude who touched Jesus was healed. Then in other places everyone that Jesus touched received their healing. But in Mark chapter 1:40-42, we have a classic example of how faith stops at the question mark.

And there came a leper to him, beseeching him, and kneeling down to him, and saying unto him, If thou wilt, thou canst make me clean. And Jesus moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean. And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was cleansed.

The leper had great faith that Jesus could make him clean. But the phrase, If thou wilt reveals that he had a question as to whether He would or not. Jesus being moved with compassion, laid His hands on him, but nothing happened. The lepers’ faith could go no further than his knowledge of this matter. But as soon as Jesus revealed His will concerning the matter the leper received his healing. So you can see how important it is to know the will of God. Sometimes it is a matter of life or death.
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Abusive or Domineering People

2006-03-09T13:29:00.000-06:00

Scientists have long been fascinated by how predators can paralyze their victims with fear without ever touching them. A couple of years ago, researchers discovered that tigers emit a growl that is slightly below the threshold of normal hearing. However, the victim feels it, and the unconscious mind “hears" it, responding in paralyzing fear. Tigers use this skill to paralyze their prey so that they can then easily overpower them. Many predators besides tigers do this.

Abusive or domineering people do a similar thing to their victims. The controlling personality uses the victim’s own guilt and insecurities to manipulate them. The victim has no idea how, but finds she strangely yields to aggressor. The aggressor, like the tiger, knows precisely how to emit the right words to “guilt” his victim into doing almost anything he wants – all without ever touching them.

The aggressor, like the animal predator, looks for a victim who is filled with insecurities and weaknesses that he can take advantage of. He then uses the victim’s own insecurity and guilt to manipulate them like puppets. Women are frequent victims because many women (more so than men) are frequently plagued with guilt. They feel guilty for eating sweets, they feel guilty for having too much fun, they feel guilty for not spending enough time with their children, spouses or parents, they feel guilty for not doing enough for loved ones, they feel guilty, guilty, guilty. The controlling personality easily exploits this weakness to serve his own needs.

Often the controlling personality will use religion to manipulate and control. He will pick a victim(s) who is not well-grounded in the Word, and will use the very scriptures to produce condemnation and guilt. The aggressor uses verses of the Bible to make the victim feel fear and guilt. Once the person is guilty, he is easily controlled – all without ever touching him. The victim often feels he is serving God by letting the aggressor run all over him. Like the insecure woman, the religious victim is “guilted” into doing almost anything the aggressor wants. Remember Jim Jones? The controlling person, just like the tiger, knows exactly how to push the victim’s buttons to render him/her paralyzed – all without physical contact.

New Life

2006-02-16T15:19:00.000-06:00

Our faithful old dog died some months ago, but now we have a new addition to the family - Abigail. Abigail has got plenty of energy. She runs like a bullet in circles around the living room when I come home from work.

“Take no offence” - Unscriptural

2006-01-06T09:00:00.000-06:00

“Don’t get in an offence.” “Don’t take an offence.” “Take no offence.” Ever heard these thrown out before? Sound familiar? Have you found yourself saying this to others? Have you ever checked out the biblical references that support this? Do you even know where the phrase “take no offence” is found in the Bible? Let me give you a hint: it’s not there! You heard me. The oft quoted and popular phrase “take no offence” is NOT TAUGHT IN THE BIBLE!

Perhaps we have been confused by a couple of verses. Take a look:

“Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God.” (1Co 10:32 KJV)

and also this one

“Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed.” (2Co 6:3 KJVA)

So, what the Bible actually says is that we are to GIVE no offence. Hmmm. Quite a bit of difference, huh?

However, I’ll go even further and say that the Bible teaches the OPPOSITE. It is not a sin to take offence. In fact in some cases we are supposed to take offence. Now don’t misunderstand me. I did not say it’s OK to stay offended, or to be unforgiving, or to be in a state of bitterness. However, being offended and even angry is not a sin. Look what the Bible says.

“Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come….“ (Luk 17:1 KJVA)

The Master says offences WILL come. Did he not? Jesus himself got into an offence:

“But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me…. “ (Mat 16:23 KJVA)

Listen to me. The concept of taking no offence, or not getting into an offence is simply unscriptural nonsense.

If it is sin to take offence, or to get angry, then God himself is in sin (I speak as a man) according to that logic. The Word is full of instances where God got angry. He got angry over sin and injustice.

“Furthermore the LORD was angry with me for your sakes….” (Deu 4:21 KJV)

“… God is angry with the wicked every day. “ (Psa 7:11 KJVA)

“Also in Horeb ye provoked the LORD to wrath, so that the LORD was angry with you to have destroyed you. “ (Deu 9:8 KJVA)

Question: if God himself gets angry at sin and injustice, and we are created in His image and likeness, then why should we not also rightly be angry at sin and injustice? Is it really sin to be angry when someone is unjust towards us? Is it wrong to feel the offence? Hey, when someone (especially a loved one) kicks you, I’ve got news for you – IT HURTS and not just physically, and it OFFENDS. It is not wrong to be angered at an injustice done to us. It is not sin.

Now it is sin to seek revenge, or to be unloving and unforgiving (see Romans 12, Mt. 18:21-35, Heb 12:15). We are taught to show mercy and forgive. We must not stay angry, withhold forgiveness and develop a root of bitterness. But anger in itself is not sin.

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: “ (Eph 4:26 KJVA)

God gave us His capacity of anger to us to protect us – to motivate us to take action and protect ourselves. But with almost every gift, there are laws.

“Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” (Luk 17:3-4 KJVA)

Jesus did not say if your brother trespass against you, then “don’t get in an offence,” or “don’t take offence.” No, He said REBUKE your brother. Whoa! Where is that taught in the Church today? Jesus taught that when a Christian offends you, then you are not supposed to be a doormat; you are supposed to rebuke them!

He also implies that reconciliation cannot happen without the offending person acknowledging what they’ve done and repenting. Hey, get a clue! The Bible also teaches that there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiving someone, and having a relationship restored are two different things. More on that in a future post.

So, the next time someone in the Church begins to lecture you about not taking an offence, ask them where that is taught in Scripture, and also remember to not stay angry, but to extend mercy and forgive.

How to Have Peace

2005-12-06T10:55:00.000-06:00

Having Bold Faith

2005-11-01T12:11:00.000-06:00

Imagine the scene. A shepherd boy with no armor or sword goes up against a man who stands over 9 feet tall, who wears over a hundred pounds of armor, and who has a javelin that size of a light pole. A young, inexperienced sheep herder goes up against a battle hardened adult. Who stands to win in such a case? What do the five physical senses say? From everything we can see and hear the boy doesn't stand a chance.

"Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied. This day will the LORD deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel." (1Sa 17:45-46 KJVA)

David came against Goliath, and did not go by what everything in the physical world told him. He said, "Goliath, you come at me with the five physical senses - weapons that can be seen, heard, smelled, and felt. But I come at you with a something that cannot be seen, heard or felt, but is just as real as the stone that's going to sink into you forehead."

Notice the boldness of David. No whimpering. No "if it be thy will" nonsense. No asking God to bless his efforts while he goes out to try and see what happens against the giant. David boldly proclaimed his victory against what everything in the physical world told him was impossible. David spoke in faith. If a Christian were to exercise David's bold faith today, some in the church would no doubt say that he is arrogant. Some would say that's getting into name-it-claim-it. Some today would say that one should be careful. After all, God sometimes says no. Right? No, David spoke in bold faith not arrogance, and God showed up for him.

If God sometimes says no to His promises in Scripture, then how can we ever have the faith necessary to believe for anything? If I am walking holy (1 Jn 3:22), asking for something in accordance with His Word (1 Jn 5:14), and have unwavering faith (Mk 11:23), does God just sometimes say no to His clear promises in the Bible? If someone told me they hid just one land mine in my one acre yard, how can I confidently walk on any part of my yard? Think about it. I can NEVER feel completely safe even though there is only one mine. If the yard were 100 acres, I would still not be completely confident to walk on it. Not completely. If God sometimes says no, how could we ever have the faith to believe for anything?

Cool Weather and a Cool Verse

2005-10-07T09:45:00.000-05:00

The weather here in the DFW area has finally gotten cool. We had 100 degree weather in late September. Usually, we get cooler temperatures beginning in early September. It steadily goes down from the 100s to the 90s, and, by October, to the 80s. But the hot summer wanted to hold on for dear life. So, today the cool 50ish weather is so welcome.

Here's a cool verse:

For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. (Psa 84:11 KJV)

The Promises of God

2005-09-21T14:55:00.000-05:00

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it."
(Joh 14:12-14 KJV)

Encouragement

2005-09-12T11:56:00.000-05:00

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive." (Jer 29:11-14 KJV)

Empowering Your Life

2005-08-16T13:36:00.000-05:00

What if I told you that YOU can do the same things Elijah the prophet did? Would you believe that? What if I told you that YOU can engineer the very weather? What if I told you that this awesome power is within every Christian? Do you say that was only for special biblical times, and was reserved for only a few chosen men? No? Then why did James use Elijah as our example for prayer? Why did he even go so far as to say he was nothing special - he was just like us?

"...The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months. And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit."
(Jam 5:16-18 KJV)

Bah! Quackery! Poppycock!

2005-08-12T08:54:00.000-05:00

Read this excellent article. Try to connect the dots. Notice that everything the author points out is also true of the religious establishment.

"A scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it." - Maxwell Planck

Curses, Curses and More Curses

2005-08-11T10:18:00.000-05:00

I am continually amazed and annoyed at the curses people pronounce over my marriage. Of course no one ever says, “be cursed,” or “may your marriage fail.” What they do is say something like,

· “The first year is always good, but then after that….”
· “The first year is the most stressful.”
· “ Expect conflicts over living arrangements, finances, etc.”
· “Have you gained any weight yet?”
· “Have you had any good fights yet?”
· “Don’t expect the bedroom to be great at first. It will probably take years.”
· “Ah, you’re newlyweds. Just wait. The honeymoon always comes to an end.”
· “No two people are ever compatible.”
· “She cooks? Bet you’re going to start gaining weight.”
· “Just wait ‘til the honeymoon’s over.”

These are curses. They are not just idle chitchat. People speak their own marriage troubles over others, and those hearers in turn receive those negative sayings into their spirits. Like weed seeds, these comments are received deep into the spirit where they eventually germinate and grow. Make no mistake; these are curses.

Sadly, many of these curses are pronounced by Christians. In fact, entire articles and whole books have been written by Christian authors that endeavor to help fledgling marriages, but are filled with curses. Amazing! Simply amazing!

What if we talked to our children about school the same way we talk to newlyweds about marriage?

Just wait, son. Your first day at school is always easy. The first week will probably be easy. But just you wait. It gets hard. Don’t expect to pass your 2nd or 3rd reading exams. You will probably have lots of trouble with spelling. Don't even think about passing your math exams. And wait until the school bully corners you in the playground. He’s gunna bust your lip wide open and take your lunch money. Yeah, you’re gunna love first grade, son.

I may be a newlywed. I’m not immune to troubles, and I don’t have all the answers, but I believe with all my heart that it doesn’t have to be this way. Marriages can be blessed. Through Jesus Christ MY marriage can be blessed. So, in the name of Jesus Christ, I reject and break every curse that has been pronounced over my marriage or my weight. According to Romans 8, I am a co-heir with Christ, and I claim my rightful blessing of a great and fantastic marriage filled with peace, joy and love.

Can Hardly Wait

2005-08-10T07:43:00.000-05:00

My wife and I will soon be taking our honeymoon in Colorado Springs. We'll be staying here. This honeymoon will be a welcome and much needed break for the both of us. We have not had a single free weekend since about April, and usually it's involved being on the road. Before we got married, she lived almost 70 miles from my home. So, we've been going back and forth seeing each other before we married, and then, after we married, moving, moving, going to my class reunion, moving, have I mentioned moving? and running various errands - EVERY SINGLE weekend for the last several months.

And if we were not moving, then friends or relatives were interrupting our weekends with last minute plans. Again, this usually involved being on the road a good deal of the weekend. We love our friends and relatives, and we enjoy getting together, but four weeks after we married, we were still living out of suit cases and our house was piled up with boxes - we desperately need to get our own house in order. And rest - we desperately needed time to just rest.

My wife was going-going-going so much that she eventually got sick, and I was almost to that point myself, and I won't mention how behind I got at the office. As a life-saving/sanity saving move, I decided for us to turn off all phones on the weekends to avoid any further last-minute interruptions. So, we are both very much looking forward to three weeks off with no responsibilities, no pressures, no errands, and no interrupting friends or relatives(God love 'em). Mmmmmm...we can hardly wait!

Who is Really in Control?

2005-08-08T13:08:00.000-05:00

"The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."
(Pro 21:1 KJV)

The Promises of God

2005-08-03T07:31:00.000-05:00

News flash: Little dogs hate baths

For more than twenty years as a Christian, I prayed and seldom received any answers to prayer. I just didn't know how to pray. Prayer to me meant begging, pleading and sometimes crying to God to do something He was reluctant to do. I prayed the ever-popular "if it be thy will" prayer because I had taken hold of the sovereignty of God. God is indeed sovereign, but He is also a faith God. He demands faith from His children, and without faith it is impossible to please Him. So when I got a hold of the below passage, it radically transformed my life. I believed He meant exactly what He said. I ignored what my churches, preachers and even my own experiences taught me, and I took Jesus at His word. Faith comes from hearing the Word of God.

I now never approach God without reminding Him of His word. I recall that almost two years ago, when I approached God with the below passage and stood on it, I received an amazing, life-changing answer to prayer. It wasn't a miracle or anything that might impress others, but it made me realize on a personal level that God is real, and His promise means exactly what it says. I had a dear Christian friend whom I had not heard from in many months. So, I asked God for my friend to call that very Sunday night on behalf of Mark 11:22-26. The hours came and went with no phone call. The doubts, of course, flooded my mind. When the doubts came in, I calmly read Mark 11:22-26 out loud to my doubts. Finally, the phone rang, and it was --- my nephew(God love his soul!). Was I taking this promise too literally? Was it really that simple? Shouldn't I have hedged the prayer with "if it be thy will" so God doesn't look mean, and I don't look like a fool when the answer never comes? A couple of more hours slipped by. I continued to stand on the Word, and would read it out loud to my doubts.

At 9:00 PM, it seemed very doubtful that my friend would call, and I had to get up early for work the next day. I still stood on the Word. Suddenly, the phone did ring. I answered the phone, saying without hesitation or any confirmation, "Hello brother Ken. I've been expecting your call." To my great delight, my friend Ken answered back. God is awesome! God answers prayer, but He is a faith God, and He honors His Word.

And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
(Mar 11:22-26 KJV)

All Wet Today

2005-08-02T12:47:00.000-05:00

This is my first ever blog and my very first entry. I just got a call from the new wife (we eloped a little over a month ago), and, get this, she just dropped the cell in the toilet and was calling me to test it out. I figure any damage to that Nokia 6810 would probably improve it!

My wife is exteemly jealous that I have stolen her dog.

Hey, my dog loves me!

Here's a verse that's filled with great advice, and it's amazing how many Christians do not follow this verse, but instead rely on 2nd and 3rd hand testimony - all because it comes from a loved one or some other "trusted" source. Check this verse out:

"One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity, or for any sin, in any sin that he sinneth: at the mouth of two (count 'em) witnesses (i.e., eye witnesses, not 2nd or 3rd hand testimony), or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall the matter be established." (Deu 19:15 KJV)